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19TH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME A

THAT SINKING FEELING


Since I can remember, there has been a plethora of anecdotes about the biblical St. Peter, mainly focusing on his weakness, his impetuousness, his imprudence. And who is to blame for this but Peter himself. He mirrors back to us what is weak, lacking and wrong about our own selves. So at least, we should also reflect on ourselves too, when we begin to laugh at Peter’s inconsistencies.

In today’s gospel (Mt. 14), as soon as Peter sees Jesus walking on the water, he immediately wants to join him. When Jesus invited him to come forth, Peter’s true colors came out; he did not fully trust the Lord. He began to sink!

There’s an English expression called “the sinking feeling.” It refers to when you are suddenly, unexplainably, seized by a feeling that something is wrong, something bad is happening, something is remiss. And then you feel afraid that you will not be able to manage things. Peter’s actual predicament equals the symbolic meaning of this expression. We too have sinking feelings because we are overwhelmed by the waves and winds of this life’s oceans that we do not fully trust we can walk on water with Jesus.

It is a good thing though that Peter was quick-witted. For immediately, he recovered his bearings and shouted the most powerful prayer ever: Lord, save me! Realizing his lack of trust, Peter affirmed his total surrender to the one who alone can save him.

I remember Brother Sanny, who was with me on pilgrimage to the same place described in the gospel, the waters where Jesus walked. When we were there, he realized that he has been clinging to something of the past, something that hurt, something that impedes his growth. He has been carrying a few strands of hair of her daughter who died of leukemia many years back, a tragedy he could not seem to overcome.

Like Peter, on these waters, Brother Sanny took the hair from his wallet, and released them on the lake, surrendering everything finally to the Lord. His tears that day, were tears of joy and salvation because he learned to trust that his daughter is in God’s hands and his life is precious to the Lord.

Do you have that “sinking feeling” about any are of your life? Like Peter and Sanny, why don’t you cry out to the Lord: Lord save me – from depression, from addiction, from despair, from sickness, from pride and anger… Take hold of his hand because all he wants you to be is to be a water skier without the skis. With Jesus we can walk on water, too!